My process. Step two.

Yesterday I wrote about “step one” in the process I help people explore as they work toward elevating the level of self-care in their life. It seems so easy, doesn’t it? Self-care seems like a no brainer. We’re in the business of higher education after all, aren’t we? We can all intellectually understand the importance + need for self-care in our lives. Certainly.

Then why can is be such a challenge?

I’m hoping to unravel if just a hint of knowing on this question as I support and work with individuals on this journey. I don’t know the answer. I have some hypothesis that I’d like to explore however (smile).

So back to the process. The first step is “taking pause” throughout your day so that you can begin to notice more things about yourself. About how you feel at certain times during the day. About how the choices you are making impact the way you feel. This first step is becoming more in tune with self. By paying attention to your breath and your body. Once we actually start slowing down, the knowledge will surface.

Step two is becoming clear on our current self-care status. There are infinite layers when it comes to self-care, but I like to hunker down on the basics to start. We all have to eat. We all have to sleep. And we all need to move. I know for some, that last one is debatable (smile). My goal is to help bring each of these important areas into greater focus.

The truth is, we all have basic needs. And when we meet these needs we can function at our best. We can probably ignore some of these needs for a period of time, and still function (although likely sub-optimally), but in the end, this approach will catch up with us, like it or not.

get clear on your current state of self-care.

Getting a baseline read on our baseline categories of self-care is essential. Just a simple rating, on a scale of one to ten, will do. For me, at this moment in time, I’m at about 5 in the eat category, about a 5 or 6 in the sleep category and more like an 8 in the exercise department. I know I need to focus on my food choices because they haven’t been the best. They’ve been on autopilot for a while now, and while they haven’t been horrible, I know I’m not feeling or operating at my best because of I’ve been letting this area in my life go.

You can add in any other major area of life in your baseline self-care assessment if you like. Another category you might consider is friends/family/relationships. Or how are you doing on the spiritual side of things, however you might define it. Money is another big one. 

But again, I find keeping things simple, especially to start works best. Spend a day or two contemplating how you’re doing in these key areas. How are your choices making you feel on a daily basis? What ideas come to mind for how you might enhance your foundational self-care? Get clear on where you’re at so that you can start to envision where you want to go.

P.S. as much as this might be possible for you, try not to judge yourself and where you’re at. super easy for me to say and suggest, but truthfully, getting down on yourself isn’t going to serve you. be okay with what is because you are beautiful with imperfection abound. try to keep this in mind as you move forward in crafting your vision and your foundation for growth.  

My process. Step one.

As I’m developing as a self-care coach, I’m going deeper into my own process of self-care, as well as the process I take my clients through. The first step is taking note of and acknowledging where you are. Right now. In all the layers of complexity and messiness and stark reality that might be yours . . . at this very moment.

One of the primary techniques I share is encouraging you to “take pause” throughout your day. Doesn’t have to take a bunch of time, it just means pausing for a few moments to notice what’s going on with . . . YOU. 

How are you feeling in your body? Where’s your head? Where’s your heart? 

simply pause and breathe – intentionally – a few times throughout your day.

So much of our day is spent running from task to task and thing to thing. If we don’t intentionally choose to get a read on ourselves, it’s easy to just continue on down the road of doing instead of being. It’s really what I mean by my tagline, create your daily flow, making a conscious choice to actually be conscious throughout your day.

Try “taking pause” a couple of times during your day and see what you find. I recommend first thing in the morning, perhaps after lunch or mid-afternoon and then in the evening, before bed.

Simply sit + breathe and be in your body.

For many of us, this might feel really foreign. We might feel guilty for just sitting there. And not doing anything. 

Ah, but there’s the opportunity for a shift. In our thinking and in our simply being instead of always doing. Choosing to take two or five or maybe even ten (the world will not stop, smile) and notice how you’re feeling. Pay attention to your breath because it’s happening no matter what and it’s the perfect anchor to keep you grounded. It’s an easy thing to focus on because it’s always with you.

And the beauty (hint: big secret) is the more you work with your breath the more your breath will work with you. 

Don’t let yourself become discouraged if this exercise DRIVES YOU NUTS when you first try it. It probably will. And that’s okay. 

Let me repeat: that’s okay.

This idea of me asking you to simply sit and breathe and notice how you are, it’s not something that most of us are naturally inclined to do, especially given the culture and climate in which we operate. If we’re not doing, we’re not any good. 

I call bullshit on that one. And you can too.

Getting clear on how you’re feeling during your day is the first step in becoming more intentional about how you actually want to feel during your day. It’s possible to make choices (including super small ones, like this) that will lead to greater peace and tranquility . . . which is likely to lead to greater productivity (okay there, this is super important too, smile) and . . . maybe even our happiness?

I believe sitting and breathing on a regular basis leads to greater self-awareness. And that greater self-awareness is certain to sow the seeds of meaningful change in your life. It’s the first step toward a wider base of well-being. It’s the first step toward YOU CHOOSING YOU instead of the millions of things that will always be swirling about. You can choose you anytime you feel like it. Choosing you a few times a day might seem hard at first, but I invite you to try it.

You might like it. For a change.

Why meditation?

You might have noticed the recent focus of my Instagram feed (@createyourdailyflow) has been encouraging students to experiment with meditation. I’m no meditation expert, by any means. But I’ve been playing around with this daily practice for about two years or so and I’m convinced that our students need it now more than ever.

I see our students continually pulled in multiple directions, they are stressed about keeping up with their coursework, while dealing with issues from home, trying to work at much as possible to pay for school and they’re feeling burned out, frustrated and just plain tired.

I’m not claiming to have a magic wand (although that would be really cool), but I do believe investing in one’s self can lead to greater peace + endurance on a daily basis. Helping students get grounded with their health + wellness helps them flourish in their academics. The mantra I use with our scholars is . . . EAT SLEEP MOVE McNair-Style.

Tending to your wellness is as important as tending to your academics.

As a matter of fact, doing the former only further enables the latter. Taking care of you helps you do good work and even better work. It helps you feel better overall. And it generally makes you a happier human being.

Win win, right?

It’s a simple concept, but not that easy. So as much as I’m still interested in supporting students in self-care, I’m even more interested in encouraging them to develop a mindfulness practice. Why? Because training our minds to become “more mindful” has the potential to transform our lives in so . . . many . . . ways.

Mindfulness and meditation are definitely becoming more mainstream these days as more researchers document its benefits. I just Googled “benefits of meditation” and spent almost an hour getting lost amidst the tons of articles and websites and studies on the topic. I found this awesome graphic from the Art of Living that perfectly encapsulates it in my mind.

benefits of meditation

In my experience, daily meditation simply helps me notice more, about how I’m feeling, what’s happening around me, my breath. I feel more grounded even when there’s a bunch of chaos swirling about. I tend to react less and simply BE more. I find it easier to “breathe into” the discomfort, whether in a challenging yoga pose or difficult situation at work. I feel like I can handle more disruption and adversity, you know, better. And I just feel more relaxed and focused and at peace . . .  cheesy, I know, but it’s kinda cool feeling at peace sometimes, right? So many benefits are creeping into my life.

I want these AWESOME BENEFITS to creep into your life too!

So I encourage you to simply “sit and breathe” for a few minutes each day. You can build from there. Start small, start with what works for you. Approach it in the spirit of experimentation and see what you find. And this one is hard, but try not to have any expectations about . . . anything. Just sit and observe yourself, observing your breath. When thoughts arise, acknowledge them and let them go. Let them float on by.

The beauty of meditation is, like anything else, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. You will settle into your breath and your being. You will ultimately hone your mind to be more present and not constantly jumping back into the past or into the future with worry + anxiety.

Give meditation a chance. Give it some time.

Check out our Mindful Scholar movement too >> CLICK HERE.

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Let us know how it goes! Amanda and I – seriously – are on a mission to encourage more students to explore how meditation can enhance their academic journeys. Tag us on Instagram @mindfulphdstudent and @createyourdailyflow and/or use the hash tag #mindfulscholar.

We would love to hear how you are doing and your thoughts on meditation . . .

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Chronicles of CrossFit

This week I watched three rockstar fellow gym mates get bummed out by a “less than hoped for” performance on an Open workout – 18.4 to be exact. They did pretty amazing in my eyes as well as others, so the “subpar” view really came from within. The workout was tough, a new standard made handstand push-ups even harder (not that handstand push-ups are ever easy, just clarifying). Lots of folks didn’t do as well as they hoped.

Our head coach even sent out a quick post-workout video encouraging athletes to keep their chins up, recognize progress they’ve made, even if their score on this particular workout didn’t show it. This is part of the process, for sure.

Striving for your best on any given day, putting it out there and then accepting where you’re at. It’s pretty darn cool when you get to witness new heights in others (and yourself), but it’s also pretty cool getting to see that integral process unfold, slowly but surely, when you work toward goals on a consistent basis, your strength will surface.

Sometimes you even surprise yourself!

I did the easiest version for this one since there were going to be 90 deadlifts (half @ 80# and half @ 95#) in addition to a bunch of hand release push-ups, I need to save my back!

My goal was to complete the workout within the nine minutes allotted and that I did, beating it by ten seconds. Today I watched two women do the “in between scale” with 95# and 135# deadlifts and they both finished within the time cap – so impressive! To say the least.

Why do I feel inspired to write about this?

Because it’s pretty frickin’ cool the kinds of experiences + lessons you really can get in a CrossFit gym. And maybe not every CF gym, but you certainly can in mine.

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Every Saturday our gym has been coming together at 9 a.m. to do the workout of the week in conjunction with the Open. We have teams (with funny names!), people volunteer to judge one another, we all rally around and cheer for each other and everyone gets to feel the love, no matter if you’re pulling 315# at RX mens or 80# like me.

We run the gamut with age and I’m constantly inspired by fellow CrossFitters who are my elder. They show me what’s possible and that age means only as much as you have it mean. Don’t get me wrong, on most days, I’m nearly double the age of fellow peeps in the gym, and that’s okay. I find that I learn from pretty much everyone I connect with, and that’s what makes our place extra special.

Last week I put myself to the test and got my first kipping pull-up!

It’s funny. Each week we can choose the “scale” we are going to do for the workout and my initial instinct was to select the easiest option because, you know, I couldn’t really do a pull-up. I use bands (and lots of them lol) which make things easier, but we couldn’t use them for this workout. I went ahead and selected the easy option.

Then I got to thinking on Friday during my noon class. I wondered if I might be able to eek out at least one kipping pull-up. I got all the bands out, tried one with the green band. Got it. Tried one with the blue band. Got it. Tried one with the red band. Got it.

Hymmm.

The red band is sort of like using nothing, but it’s still using a band. Mental. It’s in my head. How much of this is really in our heads? How often do we limit ourselves because of what we *think* to be true? That’s the beauty of the Open really. It’s a time to challenge ourselves, try things and see, to perhaps push ourselves in ways we don’t normally. You know, so we can experience what’s actually possible.

I got input on my decision from several coaches, I called a friend, I kinda got a nervous feeling in my belly, but I did it anyway. I changed myself to scale one instead of two, which meant I was going to be doing a bunch of jump roping, overhead squats, dumb bell snatches, and yes, I would see if a kipping pull-up would be possible, without my comforting red band. My goal was to get one.

I dreamt about it the night before. I was super focused the day of. I was nervous. I convinced Conner to be my judge so that she could coach me through. And that she did. And I got one! And then about 20 or so more … more or less. That first one was the best, and I probably got my chin above the bar on most others, but now I know I need to work on my form, more of a “pop and pull,” if you will. Setting up a training session next week to do just that. Want to build on the momentum.

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Suffice it to say this process teaches us a lot. About ourselves. About each other. About our community as a whole. In a way, the Open helps form a strong base for relationships that bloom + develop throughout the rest of the year. As for those who keep coming back, the Open also gives you a benchmark for your progress.

We can all take pride in the growth that happens every year. Which is why the athletes I mentioned at the top of this post, came around to feeling “less bummed” about maybe not getting as many handstand push-ups; truth is, the ones they got will carry them far.

This piece is long (!), but I want to go back to the coaching part of this. I had intended to write an entire post about Brock (smile), a superb athlete and one of our younger coaches who judged me in 18.2. Dumb bell squats and over the bar burpees galore with a one rep max clean to boot! What Brock provided me that day (or Conner, as I’m on the bar trying to do a pull-up), it’s hard to really capture. 

The coaching + support we receive at CrossFit Worthy goes above + beyond.

It truly does.

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CrossFit Worthy coaches (photo credit: Heather Barnes)

I’m trying to describe the feeling as I’m flopping my body on the floor and back up, while at the same time, Brock is “negotiating” with me how I’m going to immediately pick up the dumb bells for the next set of squats. He’s literally lying on the gym floor so he can be face to face telling me this. With my body saying, “this is kinda stupid,” Brock helped my mind stay focused on the task at hand. Finish the workout. Have time to get a clean in that I’ll be proud of (which I did!) and feel accomplished for having done it.

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ultimate coaching = Brock (photo credit: Kaylee Kok)

Lastly, I have mention always having the best “cheering section” for each workout, with multiple folks encouraging me along, in addition to our “special kiddos” who are learning all about this process at an early age! They sure help keep me going. For 18.2, my good friend and her kids had a front row seat, which is the best.

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special cheering section! photo credit: Cece First

Suffice it to say I’m really glad to be having this experience at this point in my life. It helps me stay grounded, focused, connected, empowered, motivated, strong, accomplished, engaged and happy. I’m already bummed that our last CF Open workout is this weekend. I’m out of town, so I’ll miss all the Worthy fun, but I’m going to make some new friends at CrossFit Asheville instead! We might be in store for some thrusters.

Oh joy!

One of our team names is But Did You Die. LOL

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P.S. Had to include one last SUPER FUN photo … because … that’s how we roll.

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these girls make my day (photo credit: Kaylee Kok)

18.1

It’s Open season for the CrossFit Games which is a worldwide competition for CrossFit athletes. I’ve never really considered myself an athlete, but this is my third year participating in the CrossFit Open. I’m not “officially” signed up, but I get to participate because my most awesome gym, CrossFit Worthy, hosts the competition for anyone who wants to join each Saturday during the five weeks it runs every spring.

It’s pretty darn cool to have this experience, especially as a novice CrossFitter.

They announce each workout on Thursday, and it’s kind of a big deal. Clues are posted on Instagram. People have fun guessing what the workout will be. Lots of folks watch it live and then check out several people actually doing the workout. That’s when you get to learn the movement standards, “strategizing” starts to happen and you begin to wonder what YOU WILL BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY DO when your turn is up!

Most everyone at my gym is participating, so that makes the anticipation + overall process doubly fun.

I did 18.1 (what the first workout is called) at a scaled version which included a 20 minute AMRAP (as many reps as possible) with 8 big tucks (on the bar), 10 clean + jerks (with a 20 pound dumbbell) and then a 12 calorie row (you just keeping doing those 3 movements over and over).

I got just over eight rounds, which is good for me!

Athletes have until Monday to record their scores, so we can still do the workout during open gym that day. Sometimes people will re-do the workout to see if they can enhance their score. I’ve re-done things a handful of times over the past two seasons and it’s taught me a lot about myself.

I’m not a huge “goal setting” person, but I was curious if I could do *any* rounds at the RX level (the prescribed weight for like, you know, the “real” athletes lol). This meant doing the same workout, but much harder with actual toes to bar (T2B) and using a 35# dumbbell, a super big jump in weight for me!

I made myself a goal of achieving five rounds, just to see if I could do it.

My friend Rocky judged me and helped get me through. And I surpassed my goal! Did just over five rounds, including an additional 8 T2B and 5 clean + jerks. That was the hardest part! Really really had to concentrate on getting that weight UP, locking out my arm and legs each time. Was about hyperventilating by the end of 20 minutes, but I made it!

Check out my video on RX-ing 18.1 >> CLICK HERE :)

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chatting up 18.1

Why am I writing about this experience? Because for me, it’s pretty monumental in building my confidence, getting real about what I’m capable of and pushing myself in ways I normally don’t. I say this all the time, but CrossFit has been one of the most empowering things I’ve ever done.

Our community at CrossFit Worthy is a big reason why.

When I see firsthand that I can lift a weight I really didn’t think I could, then I begin to see that I *might* be able to do other things I really didn’t think I could do. The experience TRANSLATES and that’s where the magic really happens. I’m building “muscle memories” that translate to the heart.

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So, what are YOU doing these days to challenge yourself?

It’s a good thing to do from time to time.

Especially if you tend to be a “creature of comfort” like me.

Get out there and see what’s possible.

You might be surprised.

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